Finding Peace
by potidaea
Summary: Helen is held hostage at the prison, which leads to Nikki being pulled back to her life on the inside...how will she cope? Helen/Nikki femslash


It had barely been a year since Nikki Wade walked out of that courthouse a free woman. Nearly a year since Helen Stewart walked into Chix, looking for her. Nearly a year since they got back together, and started sharing the flat she'd once escaped to. Not nearly long enough.

Helen was back in the prison service, at HMP Denman, as a civilian worker, once again heading the lifer's group. It was a completely different world than Larkhall, not a single officer in the ranks like Jim Fenner. She actually _looked forward_ to going to work in the mornings, despite having to part ways with Nikki.

Today was different somehow. The air was thicker, but drier in a way. The putrid smell of prison food – you'd think hospital food was gourmet after a taste – even worse. As she made her way through the prison, she nodded towards a few officers, receiving a few greetings of "Morning, Miss" from prisoners that were standing around.

Eventually, after a while, the lifer's group had their meeting. It was strange, though. Only one prisoner showed up.

"Kate, where are the others?" Helen questioned.

"Well, Miss, they know what's good for 'em." The prisoner, Kate Mackel, said menacingly as she locked the door behind her, shiv in hand.

Helen reached to her hip, forgetting that she was no longer governor, and lacked a radio. She was trapped.

"Kate, what's going on here?"

"Well, innit obvious, _Miss_?" She stepped forward, dragging the makeshift blade across the Scot's cheek just roughly enough to cut, but not deep enough to do serious damage. "Make yourself comfortable…shouldn't be long now."

"Long until what?"

The woman didn't answer as she pushed the table up against the door, and then held down the alarm button, sure to make some POs rushed down to the room.

Sure enough, two prison officers were at the door in less than five minutes, attempting to open the door. From inside the room, both Helen and Mackel could hear them muttering about the "bloody door sticking."

"The door won't open; is everything all right in there?"

The blade that was now pressed against her throat prevented Helen from speaking, so the prisoner did, "All's well for me, not so much for Miss Stewart here, innit that right, Miss?"

One of the officers swung open the peephole to check on Helen, and he saw the blood trickling down her cheek, the shiv to her neck. Looking to the officer to his right, he said, "Bloody hell, call the governor!"

The governor, Sharon Reynolds, followed by all the officers on the wing who'd, much to the wing's displeasure, locked up all of the prisoners early, came down to the scene as soon as she'd got the call.

"What do we know?"

"Not much, Ma'am. Kate Mackel's got Helen Stewart in there; somehow she got the other lifer's to not show up."

As Helen sat inside the room, she could hear them talking about calling her emergency contacts. When she'd filled out the form, Nikki had only been out for a few months, and she wasn't going to risk her going back into a prison environment so soon. It would be hazardous to her health, so Claire was her first contact. Claire, however, had court today. Nikki was going to get that call. Her boss was not going to be happy. Nikki was going to have a horrid time setting foot in this place. And what was she gonna do about it?

…Negotiate.

"Come on, Kate. You don't want to do this. Think about it."

"You don't know what I want to do!"

"Please, Kate. Listen to me, you could appeal. With this, it's out of the window."

She looked like she was considering it.

Helen was actually curious, "Why are you doing this?"

"You're telling me you don't know?" The woman yelled, enraged.

Shit.

No more negotiating.

Outside, Sharon Reynolds cursed under her breath, and said "What the hell does she think she's doing?"

One of her officers walked in, "Ma'am, I just called her contacts. The first one, is a solicitor, she's in court. The second, Nicola Wade, is coming in."

Helen let one curse of, "Fuck" penetrate the air of the room as she heard the officer outside the room say those words. Of all the things imaginable she could do to hurt Nikki, this was one only the most psychotic of criminals could think of.

…Like Kate Mackel.

"Mackel, what the hell did you do that for? What purpose does that serve? Making her come back?" Her voice escalated as she went on.

"What? Your little girlfriend? She didn't tell you, we've got a history, me an' her."

Helen heard the statement, but didn't let it stop her, "Her sentence was three years! Three bloody years for protecting a woman! You're a cold blooded killer!"

"She was quite satisfying…for a woman. Tell me, has she gotten any better with age?"

"You really don't know much do you? During your stay at Larkhall, she was in a committed relationship. A relationship she wouldn't have risked for the likes of you, or anyone else, for that matter."

Meanwhile, Nikki had just got out of her car, followed by Trisha, who had come along for moral support.

She stopped in front of a guard, who looked suspicious of her, "We were called in for Helen Stewart." She figured it best to include Trisha, upping her chances of entering the prison.

The man still looked suspicious, but let them in anyway. As they walked through to the next gate, Nikki let out a, "Bloody screw!"

Many more instances much like the previous, and they'd made their way to the main wing of the prison, where Nikki recognized more than one woman. "Wade! What're you doing back?" yelled one. She flinched as a guard sized her up, pinning her as a cop killer. Smiling gratefully as Trisha placed a comforting squeeze on her arm, as a guard began to escort them towards Helen.

The governor, and the officers that surrounded her, of course recognized the name Nicola Wade, but they were hoping to high heavens that there was another Nicola Wade this side of England that Helen Stewart had contact with. Their hopes were shot down when they heard Helen's shouting about sentences and Larkhall. And then, of course, minutes later when the aforementioned woman arrived.

Her heart stopped for a second when these people – people who she would normally deem to be heartless, terrible people – were greeting her as if she were an actual human being.

"Hello, Miss Wade, I'm Sharon Reynolds, governing Governor. We called you because Helen is being held hostage by one Kate Mackel, a prisoner in her lifer's group."

Nikki closed her eyes briefly, "Bloody hell, Helen. I told you to be careful." She looked up, taking a deep breath, "When I first got to Larkhall, Mackel tried to force herself on me, my cell mate at the time pulled her off of me, and shoved her out of the room. My cell mate was 16 at the time, and Mackel came back for her, almost succeeded, too. Needless to say," The officers, governor, and Trisha watched as her jaw hardened, "I took care of it. She was transferred within the next month. "

"Were you put on the block?"

"And risk her being outed as a rapist and a nonce? No way in hell she'd tell!"

"Why didn't you?"

"I'm no grass!"

One look at Nikki Wade, and the governor knew that her previous statement wasn't one she said regularly. That was prison talk. This was doing the woman no good; they needed to get Helen Stewart out of there fast.

"Okay, let's get moving. The longer we wait, the more dangerous it gets." Said the governor to her officers, letting them know time was of the essence. She then looked to Nikki, "We'll get her out of there."

Nikki nodded, smiling slightly at the comforting words.

Trisha stepped toward her, "She'll be fine, Nik."

"It's all my fault, Trish. She's in there because I got beat up a bloody rapist my first week in Larkhall. That's not okay. She's been hurt enough at my hands."

"Nicola Wade! You sound like you're preparing for a bleedin' break up!"

"Think about it, Trish! I kiss her; Sean humiliates her. I bloody exist; the doc breaks up with her. I –"

Before the woman could continue, she was slapped by the blonde woman in front of her.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Okay, first of all, he burned the suit after she broke up with him. The doctor was just perceptive. Anyway, what the hell do you care, you had a girlfriend within the week!"

"That you scared off, you twat!"

"Oh, please. She was waiting outside!"

They continued their banter, effectively distracting Nikki from the situation at hand as the officers talked Mackel into handing over her weapon, once she did that, they began negotiating getting Helen out of there.

"Kate, what is it that you want? What could we give you in exchange for Miss Stewart?"

She thought for a second, "Nikki Wade."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. Anything else?"

"I want to speak to Nikki Wade." She said this time with more force.

Reynolds looked back at the now smiling woman as she spoke to her friend. She stepped toward her, "Nikki?"

"Yeah?" She looked hopeful.

"Kate wants to speak to you. That's her only condition in exchange for letting go of Helen."

She took a deep breath, "I'll do it."

"Don't look in. I find it makes it easier not to."

She nodded, and stepped forward. "Mackel?"

"Oh, Nikki, so nice of you to join us!"

"You wanted to speak to me?"

"What's this Stewart tells me about a committed relationship? That why you didn't want me?"

She looked back at Trisha, who nodded, letting her know it was okay to go ahead.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Bloody bitch cheated on me, too." She smirked at Trisha as she said this, making sure the smile wasn't evident in her voice.

"Oh, darling…want me to take care of it? I know some people…"

Nikki's jaw hardened. This was her best friend being threatened.

"Kate, be careful what you say. Miss Reynolds is still you there, you know." came Helen's calm voice.

At the sound of the other woman's voice, Nikki became visibly calmer, "She's right…you're already getting extra days for this, why do you want to add to that?"

"Because you should be punished!"

"What for?"

"Cause you got the special treatment!"

"Special treatment? What treatment?"

"I had a friend in Larkhall; you were the bloody golden child!"

Nikki could take a lot, but being told her time on the inside was anything less than horrid, or anyone eluding that Helen somehow made life easier on her, pushed her over the edge, "According to whom? Not to Jim Fenner, and half of the other screws, who searched my cell and the garden shed on more occasions than I can count to come up with nothing, because I had nothing! Come out of there you scared little twat! You're nothing but a nonce, trying to get off on Denny like that! She's been through enough!"

She was now banging on the door, desperate to reach the other side.

Trisha ran up behind her friend, pulling her away from the door and into a hug. "Shh…she's going to pay for what she did to Denny, all right? And she sure as hell is going to pay for what she's done to Helen."

Once the two women were safely away from the door, a pair of officers, crowbars in hand, went to the door, and began prying the door from its hinges. Helen smiled slightly. This going to be over soon and she would be in Nikki's arms.

Just as the door was removed, the prisoner was standing in front of the table that was blocking the door. The officers pushed it, knocking her down, and then rushing forward to wrestle her into submission, and take her down in to solitary.

Once the officers passed with the struggling prisoner, Nikki rushed into the room, enveloping the woman in a hug.

After a few moments of utter joy, Helen leaned back, remembering something, "Nicola Wade! Why didn't you tell me?"

She arched an eyebrow, "You didn't tell me about Caroline."

"That's different; I was governor! I _couldn't_ tell you."

"You could've at least told me that she wasn't in for embezzlement, and you know that. I only told you to be careful, because I know you would've gone all psycho-Helen on me if I told you why. I can't have you losing your job."

"You're not getting off that easy. You could've gotten yourself killed, yelling at her like that."

"What was gonna happen with the door there?"

"That's not the point Nikki, and you know it! Going off on her like that could land you back in here!"

Nikki felt like she was back in the governor's office at the sound of those words. She stepped forward, placing a hand on her lover's unwounded cheek, "I would never do that to you, darling. I love you way too much to do that."

"I know sweetheart. It just scares me sometimes, working in here all day." She smiled slightly, her injury preventing her from giving the woman the full-blown grin the words inspired, "I love you, too, always."

"Well now that that's settled, let's go get you to the doctor."

The Scot laughed, "Always the charmer, aye?"

"You know it."

Trisha stayed behind and spoke to the governor, most likely making sure Kate Mackel was being transferred, as they walked down to the infirmary, hand-in-hand, Nikki wielding the keys, much to her delight, she smirked, "Please tell me this isn't Dr. No-No; I can't handle another blast from the past."

"No, she's fresh from University."

"What? I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Relax, she's a great doctor."

Nikki took her word for it, and continued to unlock the doors as Helen directed them towards the infirmary. It was a whole new feeling for Nikki to be on the other side of the bar, keys-in-hand, in street clothes, undisguised. Prison was no longer this scary place now that she had the control.

"We're here."

Once they entered the room and the younger woman began treating the wound, Nikki spoke, "Love?" As Helen's eyes connected with the ex-con's, she spoke again, "Thank you."

As the doctor finished up her work, Helen let the words marinade in her mind. "Thank you," said Nikki, but what did she have to be thankful for? She knew what the woman was thanking her for, but why? Helen owed that woman her life for giving her such love, if giving her a set of keys could make her feel just that little bit farther away from her past, then so be it. Once the doctor finished, leaving them alone, Helen turned to her, "When you kissed me that first time, you made my world right. What am I doing? Giving you some keys? That is the least I can possibly do to repay you for everything you've ever done for me."

"They aren't just keys, Helen. Once you've been on the other side of the bars, the feeling of utter control…" Nikki couldn't find the words to explain exactly what she was feeling. In truth, she didn't need to; Helen understood. She may not know the feeling for herself, but she, in her heart of hearts, knew Nikki.

Many would look back at that day as one of chaos.

Not Nikki and Helen.

No, this was the day they found peace.


End file.
